Some people have no trouble getting to know others. Ten minutes with someone new, and they’re like they’ve known each other for years. But not everyone has such an easy time connecting with new people. Here’s a look at how to get to know someone on a deeper level.
First, ask genuine questions. Questions have a purpose when you’re getting to know someone. In fact, you’d probably have a hard time communicating without asking any questions at all. But it’s important to make sure you’re asking questions you’re really interested in.
You’ll also need to stay present. We all feel distracted at times, but not paying attention can make someone think that you’re disinterested, especially to someone who doesn’t know you well. Don’t check your phone. Instead, take a moment and remind yourself of what you’re doing — and why.
Finally, give it time. It can take more than 100 hours over a period of 3 months to build a friendship. Obviously, we want to get closer to someone immediately, but letting things naturally build can have better results. Also remember that friendships do not always work out. If you’ve made an effort but aren’t becoming friends, it’s perfectly ok to stop inviting them.
Comprehension
1) Why is it important to ask questions when getting to know someone?
2) Why should you avoid checking your phone during a conversation?
3) Is it always possible to become friends with someone you meet?
Vocabulary
Match the words to the definition:
1) trouble
2) get to know
3) genuine
4) distracted
5) instead
6) becoming
a) real, authentic
b) in place of something
c) learning about someone
d) to change into
e) not paying attention
f) problems
Grammar Highlights
Always use “-ing” form of a verb after a preposition:
“…communicating without asking any questions…”
*This article was adapted from another article to make it more suitable for English learners. You can read the original article here.