{"id":464,"date":"2023-03-07T11:27:31","date_gmt":"2023-03-07T11:27:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/onlineenglishcafe.com\/?page_id=464"},"modified":"2023-03-20T12:19:49","modified_gmt":"2023-03-20T12:19:49","slug":"how-to-really-get-to-know-someone","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/onlineenglishcafe.com\/?page_id=464","title":{"rendered":"How to “Really” Get to Know Someone"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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B2\/C1 Level<\/strong><\/h5>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
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B1 Level<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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A2 Level<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Some people have no trouble getting to know others.  Ten minutes with someone new, and they\u2019re chatting away as if they\u2019ve known each other for years. But not everyone has such an easy time connecting with new people.  When trying to find out more about a new acquaintance<\/strong>, asking questions is certainly a good starting point, it\u2019s only part of the equation<\/strong>.  Here\u2019s a look at how to get to know someone on a deeper level without a ton of small talk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

First, ask genuine questions.  Questions do serve a purpose when you\u2019re getting to know someone<\/span>. In fact, you\u2019d probably have a hard time communicating without asking any questions at all.  But it\u2019s important to make sure you\u2019re asking questions you\u2019re truly interested in. Not much of a film person? Don\u2019t feel like you have to rattle off<\/strong> the age-old \u201cSeen any good movies lately?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Next, you need to accept the awkwardness.  People often default to rapid, superficial questioning when they sense a lull<\/strong> in the conversation. But this initial awkwardness is totally normal.  A 2018 study found it usually takes about a month for conversation patterns to settle into a comfortable rhythm.  In the meantime<\/strong>, try not to be too put off by any moments of silence or awkwardness that might come up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019ll also need to stay present.  We all feel distracted and unfocused at times, but zoning out can come across as being disinterested, especially to someone who doesn\u2019t know you well.  If you feel your attention wandering, resist the urge to reach for your phone or otherwise check out of the conversation. Instead, take a mindful moment and remind yourself of what you\u2019re doing \u2014 and why.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Finally, give it time.  It can take more than 100 hours over a period of 3 months for a friendship to develop.  It\u2019s understandable to want to get closer to someone right away, but letting things naturally develop can have better results than forcing a friendship.  Also keep in mind that friendships may not always work out.  If you\u2019ve made an effort but the two of you don\u2019t seem to click<\/strong>, it\u2019s perfectly acceptable to stop extending invitations and just make polite conversation when you see them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Comprehension<\/summary>
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1) What is the purpose of asking questions when getting to know someone, according to the article?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2) How can someone deal with the initial awkwardness of meeting someone new?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3) Why is it important to stay present during a conversation when getting to know someone?<\/p>\n<\/div><\/details><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Vocabulary<\/summary>
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Match the words to the definition<\/span>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1) acquaintance                                             <\/p>\n\n\n\n

2) part of the equation                 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

3) rattle off                                                      <\/p>\n\n\n\n

4) lull                                                                  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

5) In the meantime                                        <\/p>\n\n\n\n

6) to click                                             <\/p>\n\n\n\n

a) in the time where you are waiting for something<\/p>\n\n\n\n

b) someone that you know but not well<\/p>\n\n\n\n

c) to get on well with someone immediately<\/p>\n\n\n\n

d) an expression meaning part but not everything<\/p>\n\n\n\n

e) a quiet or down point<\/p>\n\n\n\n

f) To list many things quickly without thinking<\/p>\n<\/div><\/details><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Grammar Highlights<\/summary>
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We use \u201cdo\u201d as an auxiliary verb in positive sentences in order to emphasize:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cQuestions do serve<\/span> a purpose when you\u2019re getting to know someone.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div><\/details><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

*This article was adapted from another article to make it more suitable for English learners. You can read the original article here<\/a>.<\/sub><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
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B2\/C1 Level<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n
B1 Level<\/strong><\/h5>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n

A2 Level<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Some people have no trouble getting to know others.  Ten minutes with someone new, and they\u2019re chatting away as if they\u2019ve known each other for years. But not everyone has such an easy time connecting with new people<\/span>.  Here\u2019s a look at how to get to know someone on a deeper level without a ton of small talk<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

First, ask genuine questions.  Questions do serve a purpose when you\u2019re getting to know someone. In fact, you\u2019d probably have a hard time communicating without asking any questions at all.  But it\u2019s important to make sure you\u2019re asking questions you\u2019re really interested in. If you don\u2019t like films, don\u2019t ask \u201cHave you seen any good movies lately<\/strong>?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019ll also need to stay present.  We all feel distracted<\/strong> and unfocused at times, but not paying attention can come across as being disinterested, especially to someone who doesn\u2019t know you well.  If you feel your attention wandering<\/strong>, resist the urge to reach for your phone or otherwise check out of the conversation. Instead, take a mindful moment and remind yourself of what you\u2019re doing \u2014 and why.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Finally, give it time.  It can take more than 100 hours over a period of 3 months for a friendship to develop.  It\u2019s understandable to want to get closer to someone right away, but letting things naturally develop can have better results than forcing a friendship.  Also keep in mind that friendships may not always work out.  If you\u2019ve made an effort but the two of you don\u2019t seem<\/strong> to get on well<\/strong>, it\u2019s perfectly acceptable to stop inviting and just be polite when you see them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Comprehension<\/summary>
\n

1) Why is it important to ask genuine questions when getting to know someone?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2) How can distraction during a conversation affect the impression you give to someone who doesn’t know you well?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3) Why is it sometimes better to let a friendship develop naturally instead of trying to force it?<\/p>\n<\/div><\/details><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Vocabulary<\/summary>
\n

Match the words to the definition<\/span>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1) small talk<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2) lately<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3) distracted<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4) wander<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5) seem<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6) get on well<\/p>\n\n\n\n

a) not paying attention<\/p>\n\n\n\n

b) recently<\/p>\n\n\n\n

c) to walk or travel randomly, without a plan<\/p>\n\n\n\n

d) general questions you ask when you don’t know someone<\/p>\n\n\n\n

e) to have a good relationship<\/p>\n\n\n\n

f) to give the impression of something<\/p>\n<\/div><\/details><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Grammar Highlights<\/summary>
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\u201cSuch\u201d has the same meaning as \u201cso\u201d, but is used before nouns:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut not everyone has such<\/span> an easy time connecting with new people.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div><\/details><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

*This article was adapted from another article to make it more suitable for English learners. You can read the original article here<\/a>.<\/sub><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
\n
\n

B2\/C1 Level<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

B1 Level<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n
A2 Level<\/strong><\/h5>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Some people have no trouble getting to know<\/strong> others.  Ten minutes with someone new, and they\u2019re like they\u2019ve known each other for years. But not everyone has such an easy time connecting with new people.  Here\u2019s a look at how to get to know someone on a deeper level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

First, ask genuine<\/strong> questions.  Questions have a purpose when you\u2019re getting to know<\/strong> someone. In fact, you\u2019d probably have a hard time communicating without asking any questions at all<\/span>.  But it\u2019s important to make sure you\u2019re asking questions you\u2019re really interested in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019ll also need to stay present.  We all feel distracted<\/strong> at times, but not paying attention can make someone think that you\u2019re disinterested, especially to someone who doesn\u2019t know you well.  Don\u2019t check your phone. Instead<\/strong>, take a moment and remind yourself of what you\u2019re doing \u2014 and why.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Finally, give it time.  It can take more than 100 hours over a period of 3 months to build a friendship.  Obviously, we want to get closer to someone immediately, but letting things naturally build can have better results.  Also remember that friendships do not always work out.  If you\u2019ve made an effort but aren\u2019t becoming<\/strong> friends, it\u2019s perfectly ok to stop inviting them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Comprehension<\/summary>
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1) Why is it important to ask questions when getting to know someone?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2) Why should you avoid checking your phone during a conversation?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3) Is it always possible to become friends with someone you meet?<\/p>\n<\/div><\/details><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Vocabulary<\/summary>
\n

Match the words to the definition<\/span>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1) trouble<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2) get to know<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3) genuine<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4) distracted<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5) instead<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6) becoming<\/p>\n\n\n\n

a) real, authentic<\/p>\n\n\n\n

b) in place of something<\/p>\n\n\n\n

c) learning about someone<\/p>\n\n\n\n

d) to change into<\/p>\n\n\n\n

e) not paying attention<\/p>\n\n\n\n

f) problems<\/p>\n<\/div><\/details><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Grammar Highlights<\/summary>
\n

Always use \u201c-ing\u201d form of a verb after a preposition:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c\u2026communicating without asking<\/span> any questions…\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div><\/details><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

*This article was adapted from another article to make it more suitable for English learners. You can read the original article here<\/a>.<\/sub><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

B2\/C1 Level B1 Level A2 Level Some people have no trouble getting to know others.  Ten minutes with someone new, and they\u2019re chatting away as if they\u2019ve known each other for years. But not everyone has such an easy time connecting with new people.  When trying to find out more about a new acquaintance, asking […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":135,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_coblocks_attr":"","_coblocks_dimensions":"","_coblocks_responsive_height":"","_coblocks_accordion_ie_support":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"hide_page_title":"","footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-464","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/onlineenglishcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/464","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/onlineenglishcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/onlineenglishcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onlineenglishcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onlineenglishcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=464"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/onlineenglishcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/464\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":555,"href":"https:\/\/onlineenglishcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/464\/revisions\/555"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onlineenglishcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/135"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/onlineenglishcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=464"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}